Bring back the horse and buggy!

One of my ancestors used to have a small holding in the Lea Valley east of London.  To get his produce to market he'd load it on a cart pulled by a horse and trundle off to Covent Garden or Spitalfields markets.  The legend as I have heard it is that having done his trading he would then have a refreshing ale (or possibly two), point the horse towards home an sleep while the horse plodded home.  Everyone involved knew what was happening and the horse, cart and ancestor arrived home on time.

This approach to logistics can be contrasted with my two recent, and one slightly older, experiences using modern technology.

Older event
When we moved to New York in 2005 we were selling our house in Canberra.  All was under control before we left.  About a week after we had Big Appleised ourselves I got an email saying that the purchasers lawyers had lost a key document and this was needed before the sale could be settled.  And they had to have an original - scanned or faxed copies would not do.  So we printed off the required document, signed it, got a colleague who met some criterion to witness the signatures, and engaged DHL to ship it to Australia paying $55.00 to ensure it got there within 5 working days.

4 days later I checked the tracking system.  US Homeland Security had pulled the shipping container in which our document was sitting out of 'the system' for random detailed scrutiny.  Neither Homeland Security nor DHL could tell us how long this would take and our purchasers were getting toey.  From memory it took about a week extra.  Did DHL refund the extra we paid for speedy delivery?  This is real life so what do you think?

First recent event
This involved a registered Parcel through Australia Post (AP).  I was given a consignment number for this and on entering it into the system was told that the parcel had been received at Regency Park (South Australia) Post Office on a Friday.  By late on the following Monday that was still all that was showing.  I queried this with the consignor who advised that AP rarely scan Registered articles other than at acceptance and when taken by the postie for delivery.  Sure enough on the Tuesday morning the status advances to "Awaiting collection at Queanbeyan PO".

The consignor agreed that this system was naff but it was consistent unlike the private sector competition where what happens seemed to depend on the whim of the driver etc.

Second recent event
The parcel this time was a small camera purchased from DWI, who give contact phone numbers in all Australian capital cities.  I suspect that is the limit of their presence in those cities.  Whatever: it emerged that my camera was coming from Kowloon  by DHL and I got a tracking number.  Here is the detail tracking for that.
Pretty impressive I reckon.  So with the camera being in Sydney at 2am on the Monday I rang DHL(in Australia, I reckoned the ones in Turtle Bay NYC would be even less use this time than they were before)  at 0830 to find out what the arrangements were for getting my parcel.

The young lady I spoke was very helpful and said that DHL offer a door-to-door service so it will be delivered to our door.  ...  By Toll (another courier company) who are their agents.  But the DHL tracking number should work on their site.  (I have had a previous experience with Toll and their approach to client service at that time was all that one would expect from a company associated with Patrick Partners (ie rat shyte).)  But if I had trouble I should ring them back.

However I persevered in trying to track the item in the Toll system.  Eventually I gave up and rang Toll Express.  The person I spoke to there said she knew nothing about DHL but there were 4 components of Toll "and they're all different".  Not happy.

So I ring another bit of Toll and yes they do act for DHL.  No, the DHL code won't work in their system so didn't DHL give the Toll code?  She then said that they don't actually deliver out here but use a contractor and he only comes Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Being a good bit helpful she went and looked at the pile of 2 items for the contractor and there was nothing for me.  Not happy.

So I ring DHL and speak to another nice young-sounding lady.  The first thing she tells me is that while most of their stuff is handled by Toll my parcel had gone to the Eparcel set up of Australia Post, for which she SMSed me the tracking number.  She reckons AP should deliver it to my door and I could not get her to understand that AP contractors do not enter rural properties but leave the parcels at the PO!  The AP tracking system recognised the number I had been given but could give no further information.  I have signed up for email progress reports and will drive into Queanbeyan tomorrow morning.  Not happy!

From the view of someone who is concerned about the way Australia is going, the big issue here is that all was going brilliantly until the parcel crossed the shore of Botany Bay at which point it headed down the porcelain euphonium.

Update:  I used the AP tracking system several times to try to contact my parcel during 8 July with no result.  I had also registered for email updates on its location.  Zilch.  So at 6:45 on 9 July I check the system again (because I don't believe the emails will ever happen) and .... Yowza, it has been "accepted by facility"!  This apparently means that at 19:13 on the 8th it was in transit at some cavern in Fyshwick.  Why didn't I get an email about this?  (Sorry, that was a rhetorical question!)

I understand that the culture of people in Hong Kong reveres ancestors.  While my ancestor, referred to in the first paragraph may have taken a while to deliver the parcel, as long as he could get the horse pointed up the Hume Highway, I am sure he'd have made it.  Indeed given that trot averages 13kph, allowing for hay breaks he'd probably have got the parcel from Mascot to Carwoola about as quickly as modern wonders will achieve.  I could also say that it would take me, even in current woeful state of unfitness and carrying a small parcel, no more that an hour to run on my short fat hairies from anywhere in Fyshwick to the Queanbeyan Post Office.

It is perhaps coincidental that midway through this morning's happenings I came across the adage "Some days you are the pigeon, other days you're the statue!"

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